March 27, 2009, 8:41 am : Reviews on 2 more movies

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Last House on the Left – this was a remake of Wes Craven’s first film from 1972. Why does hollywood insist on remaking old ideas? Isn’t anyone original anymore? This remake is on the same level as the “Friday the 13th” remake. It’s just an excuse for “scary” gore with a big “horror” brand on it for the dullards of today to go to the movies and scream at the disgusting images on screen. This movie is not really scary, but the rape scene is gross, and it makes you uncomfortable, as it did in the original, and there’s some cool gore for everyone to enjoy.

•1/2 (one and a half dots out of five)

I love You Man – Let’s go watch Paul Rudd be charming for an hour and 45 minutes….okay, why not. This movie is funny, but the directing is noticeably bad and it’s distracting. But the actors pick up the slack and make you laugh, but not too hard. I’d watch this again if I was bored but I will not be purchasing it on DVD.

••1/2 (two and a half dots out of five)

March 27, 2009, 8:32 am :

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“The truth is what is. And what should be is a fantasy, a terrible terrible lie that someone gave the people long ago.” – Lenny Bruce

March 20, 2009, 2:24 pm :

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“you have to be a real low life piece of shit to get involved in politics” – Frank Reynolds

March 19, 2009, 7:22 am :

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“You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time” – Abraham Lincoln

March 13, 2009, 8:06 am :

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“Television, if you haven’t been on it, you’re no one” – Zach Galifianakis

March 9, 2009, 8:51 pm : Reviews on 2 More Movies

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Slumdog Millionaire – Yeah I saw this quite a while ago, but I just realized that I never gave my 2 cents on it. And yeah I know it got the Oscar for best picture, but I think “Milk” should have got it instead. It’s about this orphaned kid in India who has a brother and a girl he loves. They are both taken away from him and reunite with him in different times in his life, and no matter what he never forgets this girl. She’s trapped in a loveless marriage that’s more like slavery (on her side of things). And he knows that if he were to get on the TV show “Who Wants to be a Millionaire” it would let her know where he is and that he is ok, and if he could win, they could run away together and never have to worry about being apart again. So he wins, they find eachother, and his brother (who’s kind of been a prick the whole time) finally acts like a big brother and gives them the opportunity to be free. True love triumphs (sorry if I ruined it). It is an interesting story, in an interesting setting with realistic, 3-dimensional characters. Just an old fashioned love story with a foreign, new-age twist. And although the movie was very good, I don’t think it was better than “Milk.”

••• 1/2 (Three and a Half dots out of Five)

Watchmen – I never got a chance to finish the comic series before I saw this movie. But as I found out, it’s not a necessity as the movie sticks pretty close to the comics. It has a deep, layered story that interacts with events in history. What if super heroes were involved in the Vietnam war? This movie answers that hypothetical query. It is a very in depth story with very developed characters and a pretty dark storyline. The comic series it is based on is the highest reguarded graphic novel of all time, and it’s not hard to see why. The director Zack Snyder leaves his mark with his 300-esque action sequences and magnified gore and eroticism. I found the soundtrack interesting. The opening credits song is “The Times They Are A-Changin’” by Bob Dylan, and obvious choice with Dylan quotes althrough the graphic novel. But with songs like “Dust in the Wind” and “99 Luftbalons,” it gives the movie a unique feeling. I also liked how the movie wasn’t bogged down with big celebrity names. The most famous person in the movie was Billy Crudup, but I guarantee that after this movie, the rest will be renowned in time.

•••• (Four dots out of Five)

March 3, 2009, 10:00 pm :

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“seriously dude, once you’ve jacked off you realize that the internet is pretty useless” – Cole McKelvie