May 14, 2010, 5:16 pm : Guess what youtube did….

Filed Under: Cole's Writings
Discussion: C[0]mments

So those fuckers over at google/youtube deleted my youtube account. I did like to use copyright music in my videos on occasion, but I figured that since I wasn’t making any money from the videos it was ok. I also figured that since people post whatever the fuck they want on youtube including copyright TV shows and movies and stuff, that I was just a minor offender. Not so. So they felt it necessary, since I had 3 copyright infringement violations, to just delete my account with no notice and ban me. But I happen to have saved every video I ever made. So I opened a new account, my new account is colemckelvedotca on youtube, located here: http://www.youtube.com/user/colemckelviedotca

I won’t be posting EVERY video I made back on youtube. It seems as though I must abide by the stupid rules. But I will post the ones that don’t offend their sensitive copyright infringement rules. But no more Hot Cops, no more Gone to John’s and the first Shaw Cable video had to be banished forever…. Anyway watch for the videos to be posted here in the “Videos” section.

January 12, 2009, 4:06 pm : Question…

Filed Under: Cole's Writings
Discussion: C[0]mments

Does anyone else want to spin kick Rachel Ray in the face?

February 3, 2008, 2:11 am : Ode to the Elderly

Filed Under: Cole's Writings
Discussion: C[0]mments

OK. First off, this is not meant to be dedicated to the percentage of dignified elderly ladies and gentlemen who are filled with wisdom and funny stories. No no, this is about the old people who refuse to change, who are selfish and self-involved and refuse to represent their age group in a respectable manor. I do not subscribe to agism, yet I refuse to ignore the facts about our grey haired friends.

Remember the good ol’ days, when men beat the living shit out of their loyal housewives after a hard day of work and 4 rum and sodas? The days where everyone was a homophobic, racist, bigot who took his frustrations out on his family. The days of “in god we trust.” When people didn’t question the their parents, their teachers, or their government. When everything “cost a nickel” and “everything was better.”  These were the days of extreme denial. The wives didn’t complain, and the gay and “coloured” people stayed out of sight (and out of mind). But over the years things had to change (as things often do). Women, gays, and racial minorities can now vote, drive and own land. Thanks to inflation, almost nothing costs a nickel anymore. And if one beats his wife, they get charged with assault. Things have changed, times have changed, and people have changed. But due to their own ignorance and stubbornness, some people have been left behind.

IDEOLOGY – in my travels I have come across no shortage of old people who are racist and homophobic. In extreme circumstances a loving couple can be torn apart because of an elderly loved one’s objection due to the colour of one’s skin. Another example of elderly ideology is the fact that in certain parts of the world (like in the USA), gay marriage is illegal. Everyone’s favorite president, George W. Bush, veto’s gay marriage bills because of his religious beliefs even though there is supposed to be a separation of church and state. What effect is 2 men or 2 women getting married going to have on anyone else? It will create 1 more wedding that stimulates the economy and makes 2 people very happy. But no. Due to a few old people’s religious beliefs, these individuals will not be wed…..for now. As for racism, that one is a little more taboo. Back in the good ol’ days, racism was fashionable. But due to civil rights and a cool cat named Martin Luther King Jr., racism was (and is) no longer “cool.” But I have heard old people (more so than any other age group) tell racist joke after racist joke, and often use racial slurs (most of the time after a bad encounter with the person they’re being racist against). Don’t get me wrong, jokes that point out the difference between 2 races can be funny. Stereotypes are there for a reason (most times). They are often just characteristics of certain groups of people and poking fun at those characteristics is just human nature. However, when it comes to a point where racial jokes are the only kind of jokes someone tells, they might have a problem. And shouting out a racial slur at someone because they cut you off in traffic is unacceptable. It’s fine to be pissed off at someone, but when race is the first thing you choose to degrade someone, you’re probably a racist. The sad thing about these old ideologies, is that they’ve been passed on to younger people. How someone can sit there and pretend that gay people and people who are a different colour don’t matter, I will never know. Maybe I should ask Don Imus, Michael Richards, or Dog the Bounty Hunter.

TECHNOLOGY – this is the future. With new technology coming out every day, it’s sometimes hard to keep up. But everyone has a basic computer knowledge. Except a small population of elderly people. Have you ever tried to teach a computer virgin how to do anything? I might be biased because I have used computers all through my education, and have gotten used to just knowing things about computers. But how someone can’t know what “double-click” means just seems like they’re not trying. Double = 2, Click = Click, meaning……Click twice you fucking idiot. I honestly think that when it comes to learning anything about technology, old people just turn their brains off when you’re talking to them. You can tell me something once, and I’ll know forever. You can tell them the same exact thing and then they’ll ask you the same question 5 minutes later when they have to do that specific thing again. If one was in school and asked how to do the same thing over and over, the teacher would sent that person to the “special” class. But you’re forced to put up with it, because your grandma just HAS TO get on facebook. They refuse to retain anything you tell them, it’s like telling a retarded baby who’s in another room sleeping something, they just don’t get it. You could say that it’s because computers are just too foreign to old people. But I know some old people who know more about computers than I do. So how is it that some old people can do it and some can’t. It’s just that they refuse to learn. Yet they don’t refuse to ask you why the iPod they won on a pop up ad and gave their credit card number for hasn’t come in the mail yet.

IGNORANCE/STUBBORNNESS – I’ve been accused of being “brainwashed” for believing in evolution, when even a catholic religion teacher once told me that the stories in the first testament aren’t true. The good ol’ days were more religious ones, these days are more scientific (being that science is proven). I’m not saying old people should turn their back on their faith, but it’s just pure ignorance when they judge people for having different beliefs as them. I will never judge people for having certain religious beliefs. But I get pissed off when others judge people for not believing the “right” thing. I can’t see any God supporting the judgment of others for any reason. Their devotion and blind faith in everything that they perceive to be right, and their refusal to even accept the notion that anyone could think any different is just ridiculous. They’re so stubborn, to the point to where they endanger lives. Like when someone tries to take an old person’s license away. After a certain point, you lack the sight and reaction time needed to pilot an automobile. It’s a fact. I know someone who was backed in to by an old person in a parking lot, and the old broad didn’t even get out of her car. She just threw it in drive and kept going. If it’s a young person driving reckless, shit hits the fan. But if an old person drives like their drunk and haven’t been to bed for 6 days, it’s a touchy subject. Oh and by the way grandpa, the speed limit on this road is 60km/h, the gas pedal is on the right, let’s pick it up.

I don’t hate old people. I fancy them just fine. I just hate how everyone uses age as an excuse when an old person fucks up. They are members of society just like you and I, therefore they should abide by the same rules. The wayward ways of the past should stay in the past, and the elderly should change with the rest of us. “The times they are a-changin’” and you old folks are not exempt.

December 29, 2007, 11:22 pm : A few words about Jason Voorhees

Filed Under: Cole's Writings
Discussion: C[0]mments

This is the tale of the boy from Crystal Lake,
his tragic end, and the lives he would take.
The negligent camp councillors, they weren’t around.
Jason Voorhees went swimming, and then he drowned.
His mother took revenge and basked in councillor misery,
it was the bloodiest day in Crystal Lake history.
She wouldn’t stop until all of them were dead,
but one got the best of her, and took off her head.
But just when they thought the nightmare was done
they quickly realized that it had just begun.
Crystal Lake would soon become Hell,
for Jason Voorhees was alive and well.
For the death of his mother, a war he would wage.
Her memory served as his fountain of rage,
and this fountain was like a bottomless pit.
Trying to fight him, they scratched, clawed and bit.
But he stabbed, cut, punched, stomped, slashed, murdered and maimed.
Some got away, but they were never the same.
He stalked in the shadows and killed at his own pace.
He wore a hockey mask to hide his disfigured face.
Through his victims’ blood, sweat and tears
Jason’s mask would become a symbol to fear.
He didn’t care if they were righteous or petty,
he hacked them all to bits with his machete.
He spilled blood like a blender without a top,
he’ll never have his revenge, so he’ll never stop.
His bottomless pit will never be filled.
If you try to stop him, you’re going to get killed.
You can’t stop Jason, don’t go down that track,
they sent him to Hell and he came right back.
And when he came back, he brought his big knife,
he’ll stick it inside you, then out pours your life.
Run as fast as you can, he’ll be there in a bound
to leave you a drained, stiff corpse, cold on the ground.
It’s only a matter of time until he’s back from the waters underneath.
So stay away from Crystal Lake on Friday the 13th.

December 14, 2007, 8:00 am : My very own site

Filed Under: Cole's Writings
Discussion: C[0]mments

yeah man, fuck facebook or whatever, this place is my own controlled environment where I know I’m safe. I’m gonna post my youtube videos on here later, until then, the link to my youtube page is in the top right corner of the page. word.